Mending Fences

Just a few days ago, on one of the hottest days of the year, my significant other, who I'll call Jazzman, decided it was time to work on our gates. In order to understand any of this story, I have to give you some history about our gates. When Jazzman and I moved in together, I brought along two teenagers, and two large dogs, along with the other assorted detritus that we drag around in our lives. The teenagers got new rooms in the basement, thanks to a very quick remodel. The dogs, however had no fence and had to be taken out on a leash whenever and outing was needed. We made do with a makeshift fence and electric wires for awhile, but plans were in the works to build a big fence around the entire back yard/garage area so the dogs and the people could socialize together when we were outside. This would also mean that we could open the door and let the dogs out, rather than walking them to an enclosure on a leash.

When the day came to build the fence (after much research and planning...Jazzman is a serious research and planning kinda guy), we had help digging the fence posts and we made a high tensile wire fence around the back of our property. Now the dogs were afraid of wire fencing and we strung the wire close enough together to keep them in, and other neighborhood dogs out. In addition, this was a great way to fence in the yard, but keep the beautiful woods behind the property in view. The fence really is, nearly invisible. Of course this type of fence isn't going to give us much "street cred" in the front, so Jazzman decided to build a stick build cedar fence.

This began with me staining all the cedar boards in a home made trough, and then drying them. After this process, he cut each one to a certain length and created an incredibly beautiful cedar fence for the front of the property. He had the idea to make cedar gates as well, and engineered these on two farm gates, so they look absolutely amazing! Just doing this didn't seem to be enough, however because when we came and went through these large gates in our cars, we had to get out and open the gate, then shut the gate. Jazzman wanted automation! So, he ordered some gate openers from somewhere in Europe, off the internet of course (Jazzman does NOT shop anywhere but on the Internet) and prepared to install them. He read the manuals, did all the wiring and managed to make the gates work most of the time.

About a year and half ago, the snow messed up one opener and the frozen ground did in the other one, so we stopped using the gates, and just park our cars in the driveway along the side of the house. We've talked about the idea that it would be nice to have use of the gates again, but with their scrambled "brains" it seems like we just never would. But...enter the Jazzman!

I noticed he was reading a manual pretty diligently and tinkering around with the human gates, and I started to notice he was looking kind of glassy eyed when he looked at the large gates. And then, one day, well on the hottest day of the summer I'm sure...he decided to try to level the gates. It seems he did pretty well with one, but the other one was giving him some trouble. I watched him drag a car jack out to the gate and proceed to bring boards and other things along to try to fix the gate. I was out sunning myself, but got too hot, so I came in the house. Jazzman came in shortly afterward, telling me he'd just "lost the gate." What he'd done was jack it up so far that it came off it's swinging hinges.

Imagine a large steel farm gate, covered with cedar boards, leaning out of a hole being held by a piece of cord. Then imagine the Jazzman and me, neither of whom is particularly strong, manhandling this gate back into place. It was a matter of using a lever, a fulcrum, my weight, a sheet to hold me up and balance in perfect place long enough so he could lower the jack and the gate would slide back on the hinges. And don't forget it was HOT! After what seemed like twelve hours of back and forth, lifting and hefting and moving and trying, I was totally ready to give up. I was balancing on a two-by-four, holding on to a sheet looped around the gate (because I couldn't find a rope in the garage, but I could find a sheet, and that's a story for another day), putting all my weight on the board, while using another board as a sort of teeter totter, to lift the gate. Lifting was easy, but holding still while the jack was lowered was another matter entirely. I wibbled and wobbled around so much I thought we'd never get it done, but just when I was ready to give it up, it slid right into place!

I looked at Jazzman and said, "Is it on?" To which he answered, "You bet your socks!" We did the high five, and then I said, "That was so easy....let's try it again." But you know what, Jazzman wasn't interested.